I love Saturday's it a weekend of relaxing knitting and watching college football. My sister and I were on the phone back and forth as we watched from different states, the Georgia, Alabama football game. My son had called earlier and had arrived to take me to the grocery store.
We watched a bit of game, then I got ready to go, when his cell phone rang. I heard him say okay, I can come get the boy's is she alright. I stood there waiting for the phone call to end as the look on his face had dropped. I've always watched the body language of people I care about, signs that let me know how there day may have been, or if something may be wrong. It's the first thing I do when I see them, and throughout there visit. I love my family and that means noticing them in every moment I am with them.
As he hung up the phone he said, "mama, we have to go get the boy's, she's at her parents house visiting." I said, "okay, but what is it?" His face down a look of just pure sadness, he said," she's pretty sure she just lost the baby." I leaned down gave him a hug and said, "I'm so sorry sweetie, let's go get the boy's." We got in his car, I put my hand on his back rubbing it has he drove. There was an expression on his face of disbelief, of shock, what had just happened. I ask him if he wanted to talk, he always knew there was nothing he couldn't say to me without judgment, just open ears. He said, no I'm okay mama. I could tell okay was not the way it was....yet I didn't pry, just kept rubbing his back.
I too, was numb, sad, shocked, death either way whether you're already here or a mere little one in a photo, a loss is a loss. You just seem to love that little one even before you know them. It's odd isn't it how someone you've never meant can capture your heart.
We arrived at the in laws home my son got out, he said, I'll be right back mama. I sat there and thought wait why did he say, I'll be right back? I should have gone in too. I leaned over to put my purse down when I looked up, this little boy was coming around the corner of the garage. I heard him yell grammie, grammie, as the tears flooded from his eyes. I opened the car door said, aw sweetie...as he yelled grammie, the baby died, mommy she was bleeding so hard right through her pants. As he leaned his head on my shoulder his breathing heavy, with tears flowing. I held tight as I could until I felt him ease up and let go. I took my hand wiped the tears coming down his eyes, he said, "grammie my perfect little brother or sister is gone." I know sweetheart, I am so sorry as he hugged me again. I said, "if I don't get to see your mommy tonight, tell her I'm so sorry and that I love her always" as he shock his head and said, "okay I will." Her parents had already taken her while her brother was with the boys.
That little guy is 9 so sensitive to life in general to every human he comes in contact with....it's amazing the heart he has, amazing that for being so young. Always making a majority of adults look ignorant to life and an example of how we should be yet were not....One day, he said to me, "people are suppose to love each other, there suppose to help each other grammie, it makes me sad." How can someone so small know so much most adults don't or for that even care about. Which reminds of the day he said, grammie I worry about you, no one should be alone." He is a special boy indeed!
So here I am today numb still thinking of his mom, how in a split second life can take a turn on it's own and send us somewhere else. After being homeless you'd think I would be better at this life thing the twist and turns, yet it doesn't work that way. If anything it makes me more aware and sensitive to anyone family or not who experience a loss of any kind.
Marilyn Monroe said it best in many of her quotes. A woman who by her words alone was more than just a beautiful woman, more than just diamonds and glam, she had what many of us lack...she stayed humble, kept her principles despite all the lights of camera's. She said this..."I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." – Marilyn Monroe
Well said, Marilyn! Now if only we all could learn what a little 9 year old already knows.
To the little one who took there wings and flew away, rest in piece, your home again. I will always think of you, hold you in my heart, and love you always, God keep you in his arms forever.