Thursday, November 1, 2012

Finding Your Niche

The sun is finally peeking in and out of the clouds after a good 8 days of sprinkles and heavy rain, from storm sandy. Although I do love the rain and it's calming affects, the sun is a bright welcome.
The last time I went to the garden this is what the zinnia's were doing. I did top quite a few and saved the seeds for next year.
 I am not a big flower fan, nor am I high maintenance, practical would describe me best.
It took many years to find my way, myself, things that were really something I enjoyed or for that was good at, like gardening now with flowers added. Zinnia's are definitely my favorite.
I love there resilience, there stability, there over all beauty, the random colors they offer.
Yet in my quest of finding my so called niche, I found it can be something that can take often decades, unless your one of the lucky ones to have life show it to you in your early years.
 
 
I was not one who gained knowledge of my niche at a young age. Heck, if you ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I could  not tell you. In our home the only thing I can remember anyone saying anything about the future, was when my mom would say, "find a rich man, get married and have kids." I suppose it was because the years when I grew up 60's and 70ties it's was a woman's role to be in the home.
So I did what mom said, only I didn't find the rich part, nor was I looking as money has never been my focus. I was never a girl who needed or wanted anything but the ordinary, the simple. Some would say to look at me was very deceiving, and I suppose so as many who finally meant me, were shocked at how down to earth I am. I did find one think in my life, that showed me a bit of what I was to become, when I look back. I was good at putting on makeup in a very artist way, without even being aware at the time. Which is why I appeared to be high maintenance and according to some, thought I was rich. Okay, yeah, right, not! No fake fingernails for me, nor do I go to a salon as I color and cut my own hair, it's true. For me personally, that is not a luxury nor a necessity, it's a waste of money. A luxury for me, working the soil in the sunshine with my bare hands.
This is late summer, I decided to quit doing the entire acre on flat ground and started letting the weeds grow in, after marking off areas with brick for next summers raised beds.
In gardening a niche had surfaced, one day totally focused on being young, and trying to remember in grade school if I told anyone, what I wanted to be when I grew up.
This is what I remember...
 
 
As far back as I can go there is one thing while living on our farm, with chickens and horses. I was always dirty, climbing trees, fences, with my sisters always saying,"mom her feet and hands are so dirty, whats wrong with her, as they wore there fancy dresses and neat hair."  I still to this day at every farm season have dirty feet and hands. I love bare feet in the soil and bare hands moving it. Niches, can we have too many, I do believe some only have one, and many are multi-talented with many niches. I am one of those multi-talented niche gals. Does it get frustrating? At times yes, one day is never the same as the other. I may knit one day, crochet the next, play with polymer clay, sew, and even sketch.
 
Right now, I seem to be sketching, something I haven't done in many months, maybe even a year. It just depends on what moves me at the moment. How did I find my sketching niche you may ask? Totally by accident, I did take a bit of art in high school but, am mainly self taught. I am a huge lover of knowledge of any kind, it truly is power. To know what your talking about when you speak is so powerful when dealing in any walk of life.
 
I do love whimsical sketching and colour pencil art, letting my mind take me wherever it wants to go. What may start out as the original thought ends up taking many twists and turns. It's the beauty of the process, much like a flower in a garden, it blooms on it's own. Just as your life will as you grow, but clearly pay attention to everything you do, your niches are there somewhere waiting for you to find them.
 
 
In the end, life has a way of showing you with your own mistakes. Just what you should be looking for in mistakes, everything, there is always something waiting for you. The meaning of failure needs to be changed, it should read...I failed but I am not a failure, I am a lesson in the making, to a life niche, happiness, whatever, because when we fail is when we truly learn the most. You just need to look at what the failing has taught you.
So how did I learn to sketch? I will tell you, in many failed attempts, in many art lessons to follow to find out what more I could learn. At 34 I picked up a pencil with a sketch pad open and sketched my 8 year old son. It wasn't the best (and when I pull it out I will photo it for you) but looking at it I knew I had something more....so the journey in graphite began, which lead to colour pencil, oils, and more... It wasn't a failure it was a lesson to be learned.
 
In the end our local newspaper caught wind of my talent after a small gallery show casing, Marilyn Monroe, and many of my many prints. They talked me into a full second page of my own. Yes, many artist are what they call, closet artist, not wanting to be focused on, I was one of them.
 
 
Amazing how long it's been since this article. I blacked out my last name for safety reasons, I do not believe in exposing too much of yourself on the Internet, for the world. There are many different personalities out there, lets just say this, its better to be safe then sorry.
 
It's funny when you look back at yourself at a younger age, the saying "I will never look the way I did in that moment. ever again, is true." However, there is one lesson that was so much more important to me, especially after I read the article (which was very well done) no one could ever touch me in a negative way, or make me feel anything I didn't want too, again in my life. That we all have something about ourselves that is unique, special, for only us, that no one can take away. Everyone does, no matter how small or large, it's there within us, and yes, someone may be better than you. But in the end it's yours, no matter what, no matter how small or large, whether your published, successful at whatever it may be or not, it is there, and it belongs to you.
 
 
Whether your a SAHM, a waitress, a cook, into scrap booking, knitting, etc, whatever it is your doing that you love, it's yours, it comes from within you. It does not matter if someone does it better, it's a part of you! Embrace it, own it, cherish it, hide it, expose it, sell it, whatever you want to do with it, be confident that it's a uniqueness that belongs, again, to you!
And perfect, there is no such thing, there is only practice and many failures that will make it better, if that's what YOU want. Even if your at a job right now you don't like, there is a lesson in those moments your there, you have to focus and find them. Reflect on them, at the end of each day, think about everything that happened, everyone you meet, it all means something just there for you.
 
You're welcome to view my artwork page to see what I am up too, as right now gardening is not one of them. Look to my gardening section beginning Feb. 2013.
 
Be who you are, don't strive to be someone else, and embrace your moments, they are teaching you something imporant. Take it from this gal in her 50ties, we do know what we're talking about.
 
Have a wonderful day, where ever you are, be safe, smile at someone, and hug those around you. Time passes way to fast.
 
<3 Pamela