Friday, October 9, 2015

More Time...




Lately I've been feeling a bit out of sorts with my creative side. There is so much I want to do there just doesn't seem to be enough time or for that motivation...or desire. One thing that happens when  one gets older is finding a meaning in every day. Empty nesters tend to find this difficult as they get older. This is the first time I have experienced this feeling, and trust me, I am not liking it at all.
I feel much like the spruce goose all the parts function but will never fly again, meaning, as you get older unless one is rich or overly comfortable financially, life sometimes gets hum drum. Again finding a reason everyday is tough.
I took a couple trips to our local thrift shop this week and it made me sad...I found so many handmade blankets, knitted, and crocheted. I couldn't help but think what is happening to handmade items...is this where they end up now...and if so what's the point. Makes me think of what my mother said before she passed...please don't let anyone keep my urn or buy a small one of part of my ashes. I ask why...she replied...I don't want to end up in a garage sale as a nice vase 50 years from now. Of course, we giggled...and yet standing in the thrift store it rang so true. What is the point of buying or making all this stuff for someone special...if that's where it ends up...sitting on a shelf priced at 2.00 when it took endless hours and money to make...lately I've been feeling like...what's the point...we are such a throw away society anymore.
I kept browsing in the thrift shop over by the collectibles, gosh, so many items stacked on top of each other...50 cents here...1.00 there....for things that once had value or where chosen...had a lot of thought put into them...for someone. I sit lately...and think...even when it comes to myself why make anything or purchase...you see with age you learn less is more and the dusting just isn't worth it anymore...I suppose maybe that's how all those trinkets end up at the thrift shop...rightly so. After all at my age dusting and cleaning has been going on for a long...long...time. Catch my drift.
For some reason lately....time just seems short....days growing shorter...I look up and it's nearly time for bed and I think where did the day go. I guess what I am feeling is common in many overly creative people...having multiple talents can be difficult...it's how I am feeling...a bit overwhelmed I suppose, so much I want to do....and time just isn't there... so I find myself doing nothing... most days this week. I look at all my creations that need completed and struggle with what's the point if it ends up in a thrift shop....and yes...I know someone will buy it and appreciate it...yet that's not who it was meant for...it was meant to stay in the family. I am also struggling with which of the items that are all going on do I finish first....overwhelmed indeed...with the end result making some of them to help with my income...still at this age working on keeping ends meeting...and that my friends get old...trust me.
I remember after my mother passed...there we were...all her children sitting at the table going through photographs...tossing many...rummaging through her tiny home...most of my siblings wanting nothing other than her furniture which was new. How sad I thought...a life of crocheting...taking pictures and all her collectibles and creations... meant nothing. I suppose to her it was treasures and she did enjoy looking at them...but...I do remember her saying...dusting seems like a pointless task. I hope I haven't discourage you too much...I am just going through a bit of a snag... aging has a way of doing this to us all..that I understand...I just don't care for the feeling. Thank you for listening.