Monday, April 1, 2013

Huge Pet Peeve...with a Secret

       I have a very huge pet peeve in this life! It's actually the only pet peeve I really care about. And it pisses me off to no degree. How people view themselves, the gotta have trends, am I too fat, am I too thin, am I ugly, why can't I attract a date, what's wrong with me, who am I really, am I like able, am I not worthy of friends, attention, love and soooo much more!! Everyday this  man above puts his life on the line for other humans I'd say that's more than enough.
The fact that we judge ourselves based on what we see, what were told, wrinkles are bad, aging is bad, look at how she's dressed, eat this, dont' eat that, look at how fat they are...well let me tell you the readers. I have seen more heavy people with personalities that will blow the roof of people like Pamela Anderson, Angelina Jolie, and many more I could list. Looks do not compare to that man in the photograph. Looks does nothing as we age when we need to rely on our talents and personality.
Let's look at all the celebrities that are so afraid to age they look like wax people who belong in a museum. Finding this a goal in life is not only disturbing it ridiculous to even compare or attempt to be one of these people. Aging is a part of living. I am hugely proud of my mid-section, hugely proud of my wrinkles and even more proud to go out in public just as I am. I am alive, I live, I breathe to which so many children in St. Judes' can't do and would trade any life no matter what age for one more day. Everyone is beautiful in there own way we must remember this always.
How can I speak as I do....I will tell you a secret, but, I will not show you any photographs ever. It's my private world, it's there private world, it belongs to us. And only us! I learned this at work one day when they were born. Many females laughed and made fun of it...that pretty me finally had something ugly. Yes, that's what they said. So I put up photo's of the birth certificate, the documents of there diagnoses and photo's of us. Then one day the boss pulled me aside and said, "what are you doing, you have nothing to prove to anyone in life, at the end of the day when they go home, they don't care about you" and that's when I took it down and said no more...never again.
On March 8, 1997 I gave birth to 29 week old down syndrome/autistic twins. Each was just a tad over 2 lbs. I was shattered, my world collapsed, and during there stay at the NICU there was not one moment I didn't want to run to them and say I'm so sorry. There was not one visit I did not tell them I was so sorry.
And there was not one moment from the day they came home, I didn't find myself loving them more everyday. They taught me more in one life time than anyone can image. They taught me more about myself than life itself. They taught me to see the world through there eyes without notice the smallest things, and that the tinest accomplishment was the largest in life. Whether rolling a ball every time like they never did it before. And seeing me every morning was like seeing me for the first time, always came with a smile and tons of excitement. They opened my heart to the world.
I had skipped the amino and placed my faith with God and he delivered more than I could ever have imaged.
 They are also my hurdle, they are the reason I eat chocolate they are my biggest most challenging loss in this life...Happy 16th Birthday little ones where ever your are....
Maybe the problem in this world is there are not enough people facing a personal struggle that is larger then themselves.
The man who took the photo above takes them of everyday life, yes people, everyday life...the way it actual exist. Please copy and paste will love his photographs.